Midweek Motivation

Yes, yes – another post with motivation in the title. Motivation is a very big deal to me, what can I say?

Unintentional Encouragement

StY has done a marvelous job of repeatedly, yet inadvertently motivating me to either stick with the program or get back to it when I start to lag. She’ll do things like send me pictures of herself in a cute outfit – usually just to say, “Hey, isn’t this cute?” To which I always agree that it is cute (sincerely, not just to be nice) and usually follow up with, “DAMN you look GREAT!” And then I think (not very nicely) to myself, “I hate being the fat sister. I believe I’ll take a walk/go for a run.” Or she’ll send me a shot of her pool, where she is lounging, that often contains some happy looking feet or legs and I think, “I think I’d enjoy having a pool, even if my beloved doesn’t want one. I’d take care of it.” Those thoughts are quickly followed by, “I’d better go for a run – I need to get in shape for summer!”

Recently she sent me a big ol’ box o’ clothes she’s outgrown. Except really, they’ve outgrown her. Or she’s ingrown? No, that sounds like a painful toenail or body hair. Ew. The point is that she shrank and the clothes didn’t. So I got ’em! Now, I can only wear some of the tops at this point, so I have some shorts, jeans and dresses (in sizes ranging from 10-14) that are grinning at me from the closet saying (in StY’s voice, which is fun), “You GOT this! Keep it up and you’ll be putting us on in no time!”

Then just Tuesday she sent me some before and after pic’s to illustrate how she does feel better about herself, but she’s not where she wants to be just yet. I feel like this is paving the way for me. It showed me a realistic view of some of the way-points for me as well as helped me to really understand that while I won’t get from here to where I want to be by tomorrow (oh woe is me), I will feel better and better as I go – and LOOK better and better. That was really exciting for me!

Motivation from the other direction

Sister the Eldest (StE) offered to send me a box of clothes she got from a friend that are in size 16, which is the size I happen to be in now. I wholeheartedly accepted because what I can’t wear, I can bring to work to share and the woman who gave up the clothes has great taste. So if nothing else, I may be able to ditch some pants I’ve probably worn to long in exchange for some that are not as beat up and feel better about my attire for zero dollars! As StY says, zero dollars is in my budget! And I’m all about feeling better about myself – the old phrase, “Look good to feel good,” has proven itself to be true over and over again. I confess that I hope that I may find a few items I can use in the box coming from StE, but that they won’t fit for long. I’m eager to shrink out of size 16 quick, fast and in a hurry!*

Setting myself up for success

I set a plan for myself to get to bed earlier each night this week, even if it means I don’t spend much/any evening time with my beloved. I’m SO much nicer when I get at least 7 hours of sleep and I’m much more inclined to stick to the program. It’s total win/win.

The best laid plans

I was looking forward to a walk last night, or at least an exercise DVD, if the rain started again. It was not to be. I pulled up to our mailbox, got the mail and when I got back in the car, I wasn’t feeling right. I felt woozy. It turned into a full-blown incidence of vertigo – possibly from an inner ear disturbance due to congestion, but we’ll never know. I just felt completely off-balance and walking across the room was challenging. I managed to feed the cats, get in bed and send whiny texts to StY & my beloved, who brought me crackers and Dramamine. Then I slept. Not the evening I had planned, but sometimes God/the universe says, “Not tonight. Rest.”

Run on, y’all!

*Note to the reader: There will be many phrases sprinkled throughout my posts now that may sound offbeat or goofy. They are what StY and I refer to as “Daddyisms”. As our funny, brilliant, creative ol’ mess of a dad went back to God on March 12 of this year, we find that sharing his crazy verbiage helps us keep him present in our lives in one of the most fun ways.

(To StY – I couldn’t type that without weeping. Damn.)

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What’s my motivation here?

Brief running update:

I was able to start running again after three weeks of rest. I’m extremely happy about that. Of course, because of the down time, even though I was walking, I had to ease back into things. I started my couch to 5K training over again at week 1. I was ecstatic that week 1 was so easy after so much time not running or “just walking”, but I really worked on getting in my steps/keeping active, so that helped a lot. So did the Fitbit competition with my sisters. This week I started week 3!

Weight loss:

I’m sure I mentioned that I really want and need to lose weight. I was doing well when I started three weeks ago, then we had some really busy weeks at work and while I’d start out strong in the beginning of the week, by the end of the week, my resolve was flagging. Mostly I’d slack off on my steps, even though I kept up my 5K training, but the past two weeks I added in consumption of way too many sweets and other things that are not on my plan and make me feel like garbage. I got on the scale this weekend and sho’ ’nuff, I’d put on pounds.

You could say I feel some fairly hefty shame about this. Especially since both sisters are staying quite active and my younger sister is dropping pounds like strippers drop clothes. Both are very encouraging to me and are a large part of why I haven’t thrown in the towel. Sister the Youngest (StY)offered to share with me her weekly notes about her weight loss journey and she did so today. I started reading and then decided I’d wallow in shame and anger at the way I feel like such a weight loss failure.

My conscience just squeaked in protest at the way I flog myself verbally and emotionally.

The good that has come out of my feelings attacking me like a round of buckshot to the chest is this:

  • I’ve noticed my pattern (see below) and decided to DO something about it.
  • The proverbial fire under my butt has been stoked – it never went out, just got weak for a while.
  • I want to keep up with my blog again

My pattern is to start off strong in the beginning of the week, get worn out by staying up too late and getting really tired, cave in to the temptations at work and/or on my commute around mid-week and then have to basically start over on the weekend. ENOUGH. I’m going to explain to my beloved that even if we don’t see each other for more than an hour except on weekends, that’s going to have to be the way things are until I find work close to home (another project of mine) because I feel SO much better when I take care of myself and get enough sleep. It’s not like the time we get together when I get off work is quality anyway. I’m tired and stressed about getting enough sleep. That’s no fun. I need to find my own peace and resolve about this and just stick to my plan. I’ll feel better and we’ll all reap the benefits.

I did run today, which I feel fantastic about! Also, I have been doing laundry and some tidying around the house. I’ll eat dinner earlier, take a walk after that – when it cools off this evening – and take the trash out on my way to walk. I’ll make sure my beloved has a salad ready to go with his dinner when he gets home from his long hospital shift. Then I will get to sleep by 9:00 at the latest, which will give me a little over seven hours of sleep.

To borrow from StY and her blog, I’ll finish with a few things she finishes with. I think the commitment to this will help keep me focused and grounded.

Goals:

  • Get to sleep by 9:00 each weeknight this week.
  • Keep up my C25K training
  • Register for the Liberty 5K – it’s in 6 weeks!

Successes:

  • I ran today and will walk to make sure I meet my step goal.
  • I used my frustration for good – to motivate me and to form a plan.
  • I followed my plan today and logged my food.

Needs Improvement:

  • More water. I had coffee and lots of unsweetened iced tea, but haven’t had enough water.
  • Be kinder to myself.

Current weight:

190.8 lbs. – hard to face, but I’d rather own up to it and form a plan than bury my head in the sand.

 

Run on, y’all!