What’s my motivation here?

Brief running update:

I was able to start running again after three weeks of rest. I’m extremely happy about that. Of course, because of the down time, even though I was walking, I had to ease back into things. I started my couch to 5K training over again at week 1. I was ecstatic that week 1 was so easy after so much time not running or “just walking”, but I really worked on getting in my steps/keeping active, so that helped a lot. So did the Fitbit competition with my sisters. This week I started week 3!

Weight loss:

I’m sure I mentioned that I really want and need to lose weight. I was doing well when I started three weeks ago, then we had some really busy weeks at work and while I’d start out strong in the beginning of the week, by the end of the week, my resolve was flagging. Mostly I’d slack off on my steps, even though I kept up my 5K training, but the past two weeks I added in consumption of way too many sweets and other things that are not on my plan and make me feel like garbage. I got on the scale this weekend and sho’ ’nuff, I’d put on pounds.

You could say I feel some fairly hefty shame about this. Especially since both sisters are staying quite active and my younger sister is dropping pounds like strippers drop clothes. Both are very encouraging to me and are a large part of why I haven’t thrown in the towel. Sister the Youngest (StY)offered to share with me her weekly notes about her weight loss journey and she did so today. I started reading and then decided I’d wallow in shame and anger at the way I feel like such a weight loss failure.

My conscience just squeaked in protest at the way I flog myself verbally and emotionally.

The good that has come out of my feelings attacking me like a round of buckshot to the chest is this:

  • I’ve noticed my pattern (see below) and decided to DO something about it.
  • The proverbial fire under my butt has been stoked – it never went out, just got weak for a while.
  • I want to keep up with my blog again

My pattern is to start off strong in the beginning of the week, get worn out by staying up too late and getting really tired, cave in to the temptations at work and/or on my commute around mid-week and then have to basically start over on the weekend. ENOUGH. I’m going to explain to my beloved that even if we don’t see each other for more than an hour except on weekends, that’s going to have to be the way things are until I find work close to home (another project of mine) because I feel SO much better when I take care of myself and get enough sleep. It’s not like the time we get together when I get off work is quality anyway. I’m tired and stressed about getting enough sleep. That’s no fun. I need to find my own peace and resolve about this and just stick to my plan. I’ll feel better and we’ll all reap the benefits.

I did run today, which I feel fantastic about! Also, I have been doing laundry and some tidying around the house. I’ll eat dinner earlier, take a walk after that – when it cools off this evening – and take the trash out on my way to walk. I’ll make sure my beloved has a salad ready to go with his dinner when he gets home from his long hospital shift. Then I will get to sleep by 9:00 at the latest, which will give me a little over seven hours of sleep.

To borrow from StY and her blog, I’ll finish with a few things she finishes with. I think the commitment to this will help keep me focused and grounded.


  • Get to sleep by 9:00 each weeknight this week.
  • Keep up my C25K training
  • Register for the Liberty 5K – it’s in 6 weeks!


  • I ran today and will walk to make sure I meet my step goal.
  • I used my frustration for good – to motivate me and to form a plan.
  • I followed my plan today and logged my food.

Needs Improvement:

  • More water. I had coffee and lots of unsweetened iced tea, but haven’t had enough water.
  • Be kinder to myself.

Current weight:

190.8 lbs. – hard to face, but I’d rather own up to it and form a plan than bury my head in the sand.


Run on, y’all!


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